Let´s be honest, it´s not cool to feel left
out when your partner is speaking to the children in a language that you don´t understand…yet. I would say that that is one of the most common
reasons why multilingual families end up dropping their minority languages, choosing often English
or the majority language to communicate within the family instead. That reminds me of the time when I was a child. My mother used to ask my father to switch
to Spanish so she would be able to follow the conversation. But my dad never gave in. He was convinced that it was important to
stick to his strongest languages, Swiss German when speaking to us to grow up simultanously
bilingual and bicultural. He was totally right.
And as for my mom, it was hard at times for
her, mostly in the beginning, but she learned eventually to speak and understand Swiss German. That gave her over the years a bunch of lovely
experiences with our family in Switzerland because thanks to that, she was integrated
when we paid them a visit. And so, that made a massive difference in
our lives. It raised our quality of life. Anyway, I´m just saying, it makes sense to
make some effort in the beginning to start learning along with the children the partner´s
language. It pays off in life many times. And that is why today I´m going to share
5 Tips for Learning Your Partner´s Language Easily. Maybe I can convince you to give your minority
languages a real chance to thrive in the next generations.
Tip # 1
Don´t start with the basics, immerse yourself, dive into the language head on. Traditional language programs tell you to
start with the basics such as the alphabet, numbers, and common phrases. ”Hello, my name is Pedro, I´m 35 years
old, I live in…” Seriously, when in the world do we actually
say or want to say how old we are? Never. I don´t know about you, but I find this approach
extremely boring und unmotivating. I´m with Steve Kaufmann in this one. He says: Don´t study the basics. Dive into the read deal from day one. That leads us to… Tip # 2
Be an active listener when your partner speaks to the children. Ask back when you hear a new word (and you
have the energy to do it). Open yourself up to the language. Allow yourself to be exposed to it without
pressuring yourself. You know, even if you don´t do anything else,
you will start understanding the conversations between your partner and your children.
I guarantee it. And that is what´s important: to be able
to understand and follow the conversations. When you want to say something, you can always
reply in the language you usually speak to your partner or children. You know I remember the last Danish Christmas
Party my husband and I went to last December here in Zurich. There was a young couple there. I remember being very impressed about how
well they could speak each other’s languages since they had just started learning them
after they had met and without formal training. They were fluent. It was a couple in their late 20s I guess,
she was German and he was Norwegian. I was amazed about their language skills so
they told me that the secret to their success was that they had a duolingual relationship. That is our… Tip # 3
Have a dualingual relationship.
What does that mean. It means, in their case, that she speaks to
him in German and he speaks to her in Norwegian. So, they communicate with each other but each
one uses their strongest language to do so. That is a fantastic way to learn a language
naturally. Exactly the opposite of learning the “basics”
like, “Hello, my name is Pedro…” Obviously, when they are too tired or need
to discuss something important, they switch to English. You can do that too! You will be amazed about how fast you will
learn your partner´s language. It also has a nice side effect and that is
that your children will get more exposure to the minority language since they are going
to hear it more often at home.
Tip # 4
Use a language learning app. There will come a point when you will need
some more guidance and structure to keep on developing your language skills. For example Duolingo, Babbel, Rosetta Stone
or my favorite one LingQ. I´m at that point with my Danish skills for
example. I understand almost every conversation between
my husband and my children. It´s so much easier when we meet his family
because in comparison to some years ago, I´ve made a lot of progress.
Can I speak fluently, no, not yet, but I can
understand and follow the conversations. I reply in German or in English when we are
in DK and that works just fine, for now. But I want to keep on developing my skills
because my children are getting better and better and I want to be able to keep up in
the future. So, in the past I used Duolingo to practice
some Danish, mostly during vacations, but now I´ve changed to LingQ because I really
like Steve Kaufmann´s language learning approach. For those of you that don´t know him. He is a polyglot and influencer and co-founder
of LingQ.com.
He has a YouTube channel with videos about
language learning. You can check that out if you are interested. Anyway, in a nutshell, what I personally like
about that app is that it allows you to immerse yourself into a language naturally, without
having the pressure of memorizing vocabulary or having to learn boring things, like the
basics. The content has lots of repetitions and I
find it very easy to keep on making progress in Danish. I like LinqQ quite a lot.
Maybe it´s something for you too, maybe not. Who knows. You need to try and see what works for you. But again, language learning apps are always
a good supplement. Tip # 5
Create immersive opportunities for yourself. It at some point you really want to progress
faster, then you can try the following things. For example: change your phone´s language
to your partner´s language, listen to music in that language, watch movies or TV in that
language, visit the country, ask family and friends to speak it with you. But most importantly: have fun, enjoy it. Don´t try too hard, just expose yourself
with an open mind and without too high expectations.
Learning a new language takes time, so be
patient and I assure you, you won´t regret it. If you need a personal chat with me, just
drop me a message on my webpage www.multilingual.family and I´ll get back
to you as soon as I can. Thank you for watching. Please hit the like button and leave me a
comment to support this channel. Keep on doing a great job, see you soon!.