Sociologists have been studying bullying for decades They just don't call it bully, and they've always called the dominance behavior that it's other people trying to overpower Others, and it's just like the animal Kingdom. You know the alpha male mentality That's what's happening on campus, and so when we understand it in terms of dominance behavior People trying to have power over another that helps us understand what to do about bullying when we really understand what it is all the bullying experts agree on one thing that bullying is an Imbalance of power that someone's trying to have power over you they want to see you lose and they want to win You see the experts say it's an imbalance of power Let me put it this way. Let's say a bully says they hate your guts. I hate your guts if you respond out of anger the bully loves that never You don't care That's the point stupid You see the more upset you get The more angry you get the more fun.
They have But what would happen if we were resilient everybody say resilient? What if we were emotionally strong everybody say strong? What if we were mentally tough everybody say tough? Then no matter what the hater says You wouldn't care I hate your guts That's nice You smell like body odor. You're nasty Thanks for the information Your face is ugly. You have a face of an angel three cheeks Okay, maybe that was too far But how awesome would it be if you the victim of relentless teasing and taunting or bullying? Decided to not get upset to have tough skin To allow the hateful mean words of others bounce right off you and not care what the other person says see some people say well brooks doesn't a person have to have a high sense of self esteem to Be able to do what you're asking Don't they have to have you know self confidence or or a high sense of self worth no? No they don't if if you explain to students that bullying is nothing more than a game about winning and losing and that the way that they can win is by not getting upset and the bully will lose and When people lose they don't like playing the game, so they'll leave you alone when you explain that to a student.
It's simple It's concrete. It's not abstract. It's not ethereal. It's not complex. It's simple Don't get upset no matter what they say. I'm not saying it's easy But in logic, it's very simple now. It's important to know this when I say boolean I'm only talking about when someone's hurting your feelings if You can understand bullying in terms of someone hurting your feelings then the solution is very simple But some people think bullying is more complex than hurting your feelings. They think bullying is like violence Let me make it very clear when I say bullying.
I'm not talking about when someone punches your face I Actually believe that you know you should get upset if someone punches your face. That's not bullying that's called assault and battery okay Don't just stand there It's all good No, dude. If someone straight-up punches your face get upset why cuz that's a crime. That's not bullying it's a crime and Crime should be punished and if you ever feel like your life is in danger. You should be protected. You should reach out for help These are social skills that every human needs to learn because there's mean people all around us. There's jerks everywhere Um I've discovered that when you empower kids to solve their own social problems three things happen number one. They grow in Self-esteem They grow in self-confidence, and they grow in self-worth all three words.
Have one word in common self You can't do it for the kid he has to do it for himself and only when he solves the problem for himself Does he grow in Self-esteem self-confidence and self-worth and that's what we should be doing every victim of bullying deserves the right to be taught how to solve their own social problems and That's what we need to move towards. I believe now this game. I want you to call me an idiot I'm gonna try to get you to stop being mean you can make fun of my high forehead my pointy nose You can make fun of my ugly clothes. Here's how the game works, it's pretty brilliant I'm gonna try to get you to stop being mean and if I can stop you from being mean I win But if I can't stop you, and you keep being mean to me you win, okay? So the goal is not to give up you call me an idiot and you keep making fun of me I'm gonna try to stop you on the count of three everyone say action one two three Call me an idiot you're an idiot what you say you're an idiot.
You're an idiot you're ugly It hurts my feelings Yeah, like I care I'm Gonna get you in trouble sure short stuff I'm taller than you, shut up You called me an idiot one more time, and I will win they'll kick your face Like I care like you could do anything in those clothes These clothes are freakin awesome. Okay sure plaid and sweater vests. Oh you have eyes you can see Stop being me. I hate your face Stop being me. I hate blonde people Alright give her a big hand clap. She did great Alright now hold on hold on good job all right, I Tried to stop you. I couldn't you did a great job? We're gonna play one last time same rules.
You can call me an idiot. I'm gonna try to stop you Don't let me stop you. Okay. You keep being mean to me you think I can stop her Alright. I'll try here. We go on the count of three everyone say action one two three Go and call me an idiot you're an idiot. Oh you think I'm an idiot yeah, yeah, sometimes I do stupid things. That's true Yeah, you do you always do stupid things. I know you're so smart you're so lucky Yes, I am You're awesome Thank you, and you're not I Don't know we established that go look my happiness is not based on whether you think I'm cool or not I'm gonna be happy even if you hate my guts Okay And I'll always be nice to you, sweetheart Okay no, isn't she Thank you, you're welcome.
I want give me a big hand clap that was awesome.